About Me

Curriculum Vitae

A brief list of my current skill set


Idiot thinks Raspberry Pi Unsuitable for Education
Tuesday, 2nd October 2012, 15:24

Dumbest thing I've read since...

Upgrading to PostgreSQL 9.2 on CentOS 5
Tuesday, 25th September 2012, 14:52

It's easy as PI!

Fare Ye Well Work Email You Have Served Me Well
Monday, 17th September 2012, 14:36

Cause of death too much spam

Forest Racer - A HTML5 Game in Under 13K
Tuesday, 11th September 2012, 20:46

Including all assets, but only when zipped

Entering a 13k HTML5 Game Competition
Tuesday, 4th September 2012, 16:31

I'm so tempted to have a go at this

Faster Loops and Faster Iterations in Node.js and V8
Wednesday, 29th August 2012, 13:16

Is Object.keys faster than For...In?

And the Fastworks.js framework is Born!
Wednesday, 22nd August 2012, 16:23

Well I'm excited, even if you aren't

Libxmljs Update on CentOS 3.8 throws an SELinux Wobbley Fit
Monday, 20th August 2012, 15:40

The right way to fix this sort of issue

TV Land Doesn't Understand Technology
Friday, 17th August 2012, 17:09

Or maybe it does and thinks we don't?

Yet More Benchmarking - Function Chains vs Object Chains
Wednesday, 15th August 2012, 13:34

Working towards a faster Node.js framework

More Benchmarking in Node.js and V8
Tuesday, 14th August 2012, 12:19

Working out the fastest way to route

MinnaHTML.js Benchmarking for Speed in Node.js
Monday, 13th August 2012, 17:55

Don't believe it, test it

Playing Around With HTML5's Canvas
Friday, 10th August 2012, 16:19

Speccy loading screens in a browser!

Scripting in Node.js AKA How to Watch for Olympic Tickets Using a Script
Tuesday, 7th August 2012, 23:37

Let Node refresh the webpage so you don't have to!

A Javascript Confirm/Alert Replacement jQuery Plugin
Monday, 6th August 2012, 23:06

Much prettier than the horrible alert and confirm dialogs

Projects and Sillyness

MAME Cabinet Diary

How I built my own arcade cabinet

Loading Screen Simulator

I don't miss the ZX Spectrum, I still use it!

The Little Guy Chat Room

It's a Pitfall inspired chat room


A fully featured MP3 player what I wrote

GP Space Invaders

My first little emulator

GP32 Development Page

Some info and links about this cute little handheld

Disney Nasties

Uncensored images, you must be 18 to view them

Diary of a Hamster

Learn about how hamsters think, first hand


Time Calculator

A simple little online utility for working out how many hours to bill a client

A Few Links

TV Land Doesn't Understand Technology
Friday, 17th August 2012, 17:09

From time to time I see technology in TV series that is not doing what it should do, and anyone with that technology would know straight away that attention to detail has gone awry.

I'm not talking plot holes here, like how Independence Day they manage to upload a virus to an alien ship running computers nobody on Earth has ever seen before, yet somehow manages to hack it and bring down their shields.

No, I'm talking just plain obvious things that are silly, and whenever it happens I try to get a screen grab.


This was a pretty poor series, glad it got cancelled, the ending was particularly stupid. Beyond the fact that Ashley Judd's character often decides that platform wedges are ideal for chasing and general ass kicking, other silly things also occur:

Apparently, if you want to hack a *nix system you launch a console, su to root, and then once you have complete access to the system itself, you... what do you do? Apparently you launch a telnet session to localhost.security. I'm not entirely sure what that is, I mean since when did localhost be part of a domain? And anyway if security is a resolvable domain wouldn't localhost.security just resolve to... er... localhost anyway?

Wait, aren't we already in a telnet session to the localhost? Oh never mind...

New Girl

I like this series, it makes me laugh, after the first few weeks where episodes seemed to alternate between good and bad, it was all good. Except when it came to iPhones, then it wasn't.

Oh right, that's handy, when talking on an iPhone the touch display magically appears to be on, when it should be off. And it's on the home page, when surely it would be on a call screen? And if that wasn't bad enough, this obvious iPhone has a whole magic new text message display on it too:

But don't worry show producers, nobody will notice, after all the iPhone is just a nerdy niche product isn't it.


It's nice to know that with all the tech available, they use Media Player Classic to stream their video data isn't it. Obviously fans of open source!

Either that or the set designers didn't realise that it has a borderless mode.

Once Upon a Time

Actually, this one isn't anything like the above, this one is a clear homage to Tron. At the end of one episode, Henry is playing with a strange handheld console unlike any anybody outside of Hack a Day would have seen the like of.

Surely he'd be using a Nintendo DS or at least a PSP of some sort? No, this is even cooler, check the close up...

Now I've seen a lot of handheld consoles in my time, I own a few and have even written software for one. But this, I've never seen anything like this before, and it's playing Space Paranoids!

See... Tron is real, the truth is out there!


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